pity party over here

Upcoming events:
May 31 9am: endocrinologist appointment
June 1: weigh in and measurement (start of new phase)

scheduled workout (May 24): off
actual workout: off
Scheduled workout (May 25): 30 day shred level 3, dance central 3 and walk it out
actual workout: 30 day shred level 3 followed by a deep cleaning of my carpet (weird right? i found dog pee on the floor) my heart rate isnt that high, which is why it took longer than normal to vacuum the floor then use the deep cleaner.

Scheduled workout (may 26): off
actual workout: off
Scheduled workout: 30 day shred level 1, dance central 3 and walk it out
actual workout: 30 day shred level 1, dance central 3 and walk it out

total workout time since May 1: 1231 minutes and 20 seconds.
total calories burned 9006 

 

so this was a busy weekend, not a good weekend date wise (my dad died memorial day in 2005, which was may 29th by the way, i try not to dwell on this but it happens.  i miss my dad every.day). 

 i ended up being so high strung about what ive eaten that i had two dinners last night followed by the entire pint of ben and jerrys peanut butter cup ice cream, sometimes i find the only way to make myself feel better is to stuff my face (i get a nice high from eating too much food, im sure it happens to others).   i weighed myself this morning and i was 206.8.  so far if today was weigh in day id be up 3.8 lbs from last months weigh in.   i worked way too hard to mess it up at the final hours.  

even just admitting that i binged last night makes me want to binge again.  im going to try not to.  

it also doesnt help that i just tried to go food shopping (i didnt realize that shoprite would be closing early for the holiday-so it is a tiny bit my fault) and i got yelled at by the guy who is putting the pallets out (night shift i think?)  about why am i in the store they are closed, he wouldnt even let me grab milk.  so i high tailed it out of there.  i was able to grab some rolls for my husbands lunch and breakfast sandwiches for work tomorrow morning.  but i was seriously in there for 8 minutes and probably 4 of them were spent standing in line to pay.

this is how i feel today

this is my cuddle bug kreacher, the other night he decided he was mad at us so he laid on the couch (no human under him) and wouldnt look at us for an entire 15 minutes

this is normally what kreacher looks like (that is my lap he is on)  this pic was taken after he decided to join me again

and this pic is just for fun

haha.  that is my husband, who fell asleep so i snapped a pic of him.  he won that t shirt he is wearing for commenting on some blog or facebook, so they asked him to take a pic of himself doing something nerdy, how can it be nerdier than falling to sleep with your head phones on and a laptop on your lap (not shown here). but you cannot read the logo, so im sure he wont submit it.