Saturday, August 31, 2013

progress reports

so i still never got the ones i sent to my hotmail.  i know they are experiencing some issues.  which by the way there is no more hotmail as of a few months ago, it redirects you to some other site, but i still use my old hotmail account, it was my first account i signed up for that wasn't aol.  i probably had had it since the early 2000's.
so i sent this to my gmail account, and at work i was not able to look at it.  but at home it works just fine.  I would say they are blocking things at work, but i really dont think they do.  i am the only office person. 
so here are my progress reports, they are from last week (weigh in day friday).

i think im rocking this weight watchers thing.  :) 
i really love the active link.  if you want to see that one please look at my last entry.  oh and the reason why it is so low this week (only 4) is because my gym is closed.  i never thought id be so annoyed having them not being open. 
i have other things to do, like my kinect, which i need to do that workout before the sun goes down, cause my livingroom is a dark cave.  it just doesnt see me.  maybe a few more lights would be better.
so i signed up for that dietbet 10, it is a beta test.  i did win 39.12 in my last diet bet game (so really 14 dollars and 12 cents since i put in 25 to begin with).  dietbet 10 is to lose 10% of your body weigh in 6 months, there are milestones you have to hit.  i think month number 1 it is 3%.  the game starts on tuesday and we have yet to weigh in, im waiting for them to give me the secret word.  if you paid for the entire game up front (25 per month and then you need to purchase weigh in tokens that were 25 bucks) you got 1 month free.  so i went ahead and paid that.  the total with my credits on my account was 88 dollars and some odd cents.
so lets just say that 191 is my weigh that i weigh in at, that means my goal would be to lose 19.1 pounds, which would put me at 171.9 pounds.  and my lowest adult weight was 174ish, which happened the same week my dad died, hey guess what when i get stressed i dont eat and i have butt issues. so that was 2005. 
pretty much anything less than 185 is kind of new territory for me.  but im going to do this one day at a time.  and not freak out about weight loss. 
today i spent well over an hour mowing my lawn.  remember how i pay my brother to do it? yeah he is fired (he doesnt know it and he hasnt offered to come over and do it).  i feel like i got a great workout from it.  i was dripping wet with sweat, but i think it is due to the humidity. 
by the way i cannot believe how fast this summer went by.  my step son goes back i think on wednesday (he is starting 8th grade). 

Friday, August 30, 2013

weight watchers weigh in #11

Last week: 193.0 lb
this week: 191.0 lb
loss: 2.0
(im at 8.43% loss)

my email seems to not want to work.  what i do is send myself an email of my progress reports, then save them to my jump drive (is that what they are called now?) and then i upload them to here.  that is how you guys get my lovely progress reports.  but i have now sent myself the emails twice and nothing.  normally it puts itself into my junk folder, but today nope.

but anyway. im happy with 2 lbs loss.  this week was hard too since the gym is closed for their yearly cleaning (beautification?).  i think they pretty much clean the floors with a steamer and redo the hardwood floors in the studios.
ive still managed to hit 100% on my activelink goal.  oh here is a chart (since i dont need to email it)
the grey line is my goal per day.  so im above it.  looks like i just finished week 7.  im assuming that every 12 weeks ill get a new goal (keep ramping it up).  im not sure ill have to do an assessment again, cause that was kind of just odd (no counting activity points to eat and i like food).
points break down for the week:
29 daily points (yes i cry over that one lost point) and all weeklies and all activity eaten
Friday: 61
Saturday: 41
Sunday: 29
Monday: 31
Tuesday: 31
Wednesday: 30
Thursday: 33
total 256 or 36.57 average.
weight watchers did not tell me to slow down my weight loss, it actually said to keep up what im doing. unlike last week when it was like SLOW IT DOWN.  :)
so i may be doing something crazy.  it is a dietbet that goes for 6 months instead of 4 weeks.  here is the breakdown of that
so it is to lose 10% over 6 months, and i guess there are phases.  it is a bit pricey (25 bucks per month and if you pay up front you get one month free) they also require weigh in tokens, which looks like you get 25 of them for 20 bucks (if you are keeping track it is $145 if you pay up front).  you are only required to weigh in at the start and end of each month and at the final weigh in.  but those others ones are good towards prizes. so id probably just match it up to my weigh in with weight watchers (friday mornings).  currently 10% of my weight would put me at 171.9 lbs.  which lets face it ive never been THAT small.  oh the game starts up on tuesday.  this is the beta test too.  so plenty of kinks to work out. my only concern is what if i get pregnant?  but seriously ive put enough on hold for that, so im just going to jump in and do it.  plus i have credits on my account from winning other games, so those get deducted first, one of my games just closed yesterday, and i won that one too.
i think if i join the dietbet 10 im going to stop doing other games on the side.  so i need to let the current ones i am running finish out, the concentrate on the 10% goal.
oh guess what?  still no email from WW.  i sent one to my gmail account and got an X.  so i guess no progress reports, maybe ill check back after lunch and post them.  i did well though.  :)

Friday, August 23, 2013

weight watchers weigh in #10

Last week: 193.8 lb
this week: 193.0 lb
loss: 0.8

sorry for all of the stats
here are my weekly break downs in points, my goal is 30 per day, plus all 49 weekly points, and all activity points (in this case 6).
Friday: 51
Saturday: 37
Sunday: 35
Monday: 47
Tuesday: 31
Wednesday: 34
Thursday: 30
total 265 and average per day 37.86
so i got three confusing pieces of info from my online weight watchers account.  i weighed in this morning (through my phone) and it told me congrats you lose 0.8 lbs. then it said please note that im losing weight too fast to slow it down (that i should average 4 pounds per month) and my new daily points target is 29. and the final one was that im down 5% of my body weight.
ok so lets break that down. yes i lost 0.8 lbs this week.  YAY.
the im losing weight too fast thing baffles me.  cause look at my monthly loss im at -2.4 lbs.  and from what i understand weekly weigh ins should be between half a pound to 2 lbs per week, which monthly would equal somewhere between 2 lbs to 8 pounds per month (im going with 4 weeks in a month).
then it tells me to slow down but yet takes a point away from me?  wouldnt you add another point?
and im at 5% loss, i think it is still using my original weigh in from 2008.  i mean let me calculate this: im a little under 7.5 % loss.
the funniest thing ever is that i originally started WW just so that at my next endo appointment (some time in september) i would be under that 200 lb mark.  i kind of blew that out of the water by 7 pounds.
sometimes i start to worry about goal weights, especially when i laugh at what WW thinks it should be (it defaulted to 135 for some reason).  ive had this convo with my endo before and she told me to concentrate less on the number and more on the blood test results.  as i cannot really control my thyroid levels (i take my medicine as prescribed), i am in control of my blood sugar levels, and my cholesterol levels.
my lowest adult weight was 174 lbs, i stand at a giant 5'5" (actually a little less than that).
i also think my boobs shrank a bit.  which im happy about (nothing like looking at a pic of you and your friends and being like whoa i am ALL boobs).  my one bra (it was my fav) i wore it yesterday and i just was very uncomfortable in it.  i think it allowed too much boob moving.  i have a new fav, wearing it today.  the other one might have just needed to be replaced.  i do have one of those expensive spanx bras (bra-alluhla or something along those lines) but i only like to wear that one when i need cleavage for miles and my boobs to be sitting up super high.  by the way i told my husband if i dont get pregnant by the time im 35, that im going for a reduction.  id like to be a nice B cup.
i purchased a new scale last night, after my old one decided to tell me i weighed in at 202.0 lbs.  i was like yeah what?  i dont think it would be possible for me to gain that much weight in the course of a day.  i did try to switch out the battery but it seems that the old scale is not going to work anymore.  this might cause a potential issue with dietbets, but whatever.
oh i did win that dietbet from earlier this week. over 47 bucks.  YAY. not bad.
have a nice weekend everyone, im off monday and tuesday. :) Tuesday i have an appointment at 1:30 and a dentist appointment at 6.  maybe one day i can write about the other appointment (nothing bad).

Thursday, August 22, 2013

hormones stink

im full of hormones right now, welcome to the life of a somewhat healthy 33 year old woman.  im breaking out like im 16 again all along my chin.  thanks hormones, you are a jerk.
i am wanting to disown the rest of my family that is left (that i havent already cut ties with).  but that is not a conversation for a public blog.  all i could say is that i wish my family was like every other family out there, where people do things for each other without putting their hand out for money (this has nothing to do with my husband or my step son, it is my extended family).  i still have a few good seeds in my family, the ones that will drop everything they are doing to help you out when you live in PA but are in florida on vacation (that was the time my cousin stepped in to help me) she never asked for a dime. yes she did get some payback when i have babysat her kids (this was when i was unemployeed), i will still watch her babies any time she wants me to, they are lovely children (probably shouldnt be calling them babies anymore).
but not everyone is like her.  everyone else has their hands out looking for some kick back.  last time i checked when i got laid off and got a new job i took a 20K a year paycut.
i know my hormones are in full force, cause stupid things are bothering me. such as my husband made a sock pile next to the couch.  this was covered up by a throw blanket the pups had stolen from the couch.  so when i lifted the blanket up i was so angry that he is piling socks right there.  he was not home when i discovered this. why cant he put these in front of the washer (seriously within throwing distance of his seat).  i also found an empty 20 oz bottle of pepsi under this throw blanket (which im sure fell off when the doggie took the blanket) and a lot of bottle caps.  who the heck does he think i am? his maid?  the best part is that he was off yesterday for an early docs appointment (for his boot that he has been wearing).
i did tell him the night before that he needed to do a load of dishes before i got home from work, so when i walked in the dishwasher was running.  he probably knew i meant business.
but i tell him im just angry in general, that he should just leave me alone (it will pass) and then he starts in on the "oh it is a special time of the month for jaime?" and im like do you really want to have a fight with jaime plus hormones backing me?  that jaime will win that.
i dont want to be mean.  but i cant help it.
wah wah whoa is me right?
hey tomorrow is weigh in day.  hopefully i see a loss.  (im only feeling angry this month, not snacky)

Sunday, August 18, 2013

active link updates

hey guys, im having a great food weekend (and workout).  i thought i should update this active link challenge
can you see how well im doing?  im actually above my goal at the end of the 12 weeks. not sure why there is so much blank space right there.
it keeps asking me to adjust my goals.  but at the same time in enjoying only working out for 30 mins at a shot (once a fat lazy girl-always a fat lazy girl at heart). 
anyway i figure ill share this one too
so if you can actually read that it says that 6 points a day is the highest physical activity.  whoa could you imagine 6 points per day?  im in the first bracket of 0 points per day.  there is a click box that says to compare me with others who have the activelink, im not the least active. 
anyway i wonder how much exercise is needed to hit 6 points per day. 
i am currently in a 17 day streak of hitting my daily goal.  i hit it today too but it wont count that until tomorrow.  lets try to stick this out for August.
tomorrow is the end of my one diet bet.  im pretty sure i hit goal if not below it.
i hope everyone's weekend is going well.  today just flew by for me.  i had my brother and cousin replace a faucet in my kitchen and they were having issues with the bolt, so that took a while to get off (along with a loud drill).  but at least my new faucet doesnt have the sprinkler option (aka broken) that my old one had.  

Friday, August 16, 2013

weight watchers weigh in number #9

Last week: 193.8lb
this week: 193.8 lb
loss: 0

point break down
30 daily points, 49 weekly and all activity points eaten (7 earned this week, highest amount yet)
Friday: 67
Saturday: 33
Sunday: 31
Monday: 35
Tuesday: 30
Wednesday: 37
Thursday: 33
total 266 average 38 per day

so yeah it stinks that i didnt lose anything this week (i am excited that i did not gain anything). but at the same point i think i know why.  ovulation day was yesterday and i was holding on to a bit more weight than usual (not to mention being stressed out about some life stuff).  so im going to keep up what i have been doing and hope the scale reflects this soon enough.
i am happy to report that i earned 7 activity points this week.  my highest yet.  at the end of my 12 week active link challenge im supposed to be at 1 point per day.  so im there, but in reality im not hitting 1 point per day, its more like 2 or 3 here and there.  my job is sitting at my desk all day long, so sometimes that just makes it hard to hit those goals.  I am thinking about adding an after lunch time walk, that might help me out a bit.
as of yesterday i had hit my baseline goal for every day (except for yesterday) but i ended up going over to my friends house to chat around 9pm and i was at 91% for the day.  I am not sure i made it, and i only plug my active link in at home. that might be a close one.
the close of my dietbet is coming up soon (i am currently in 3) which means i cant go crazy and eat too many points today or else i might not make it.  im already at 100% and i think im actually down 1 pound from my goal.  i think weigh out day is tuesday or wednesday.  then i think i have one ending every week for three weeks straight.  i might join another, but we will see.  the other two games im not at goal weight for either of them.  but i have time.
here is a short list of my goals (and games)
TAJ (the anti jared): ends August 19-20, goal weight 194.7
Sandy's: ends August 28-29, goal weight 191.6
Janette's: ends September 5-6, goal weight 189.7
once i complete them ill post before and after pics along with how much i won.  the TAJ one is a huge pot.  but who is to say how many people will win.  and i need to start picking away at the weight loss to hit game number 2 and 3 goals.  i seem to do awesome the week after ovulation, so lets hope that keeps up.

Thursday, August 15, 2013

real life stuff

so surprisingly my life isnt always revolving around weight loss (but it is a big chunk of it).  there are other things going on too.  I cant really write about what is up (not pregnant-not yet anyway) just yet.  hopefully it will be made a known fact in a few weeks.  If you read another site that i am on (and it is working) you already know.  that one i can at least click friends only and not have to worry about someone stumbling upon my weight loss blog.
so im a bit stressed out.  im trying to take it one second at a time, when i think about it my heart starts racing.
so let me think what else is up.  today would have been my dad's 62 b day.  happy b day dad.  im not sure they celebrate those up in heaven.  he died when he was 53.  i dont really get too upset about things he is missing now, i want to remember the good and forget the bad/hard times.
we lost power tuesday for just about 12 hours.  that was fun.  this was at my house.  so i went to work without showering (i did brush my teeth) i have well water so once you lose the prime (suction for those that dont know what prime is) you lose water.  i went to work and soaked up their electricity.  then came home to tree guys and peco guys walking behind my house (they walk on either side of my house cause i have a fence that cuts you off) turns out the lady who lives behind me tree feel into the wire. so a total of 6 houses had an outage.  LOL.  my neighbor Mr M. is a super nice friendly guy, he is friends with everyone.  he was outside when i went out to see what was up (after work) he showed me, my other neighbor A (he is about 10 years older than me, the other guy is my dads age)  was outside smoking and came over to chat.  good thing my neighbors are nice guys.  they think the lady who lives behind us is crazy.  LOL.  i have had an experience with her cat napping (my cat lilly).  also A mentioned her moving the fence line up onto his property. i had noticed this a while back and thought maybe my dad had put the fence in the wrong area. but both neighbors were like yeah she is take our land.  we butt up against her backyard (mr m into her front yard).  so A was saying he had his tree surgeon out to look at the trees near the power lines and they suggested just chopping a few down, apparently when they started crazy neighbor lady came running up DON'T CUT DOWN MY TREES. then yelled at the guy when he went to retrieve a branch that fell into her yard.
so after i spoke to Mr M and A i went inside and the power was back.  YAY.  oh the truck they used to go up the pole (cherry picker?) left divits in the A's yard, so the guy apologized and offered to send someone out to fix it, and A said-doenst matter man, i drive my tracter and work trucks back here.  haha.  im glad i have such cool neighbors.
anyway tomorrow is weigh in day. im expecting it to not be pretty (im on point but between ovulation and being generally stressed out i dont see it falling too much. lets hope for no gain).

Friday, August 9, 2013

weight watchers weigh in #8

Last week: 194.4 lb
this week: 193.8 lb
loss of 0.6

and i got another monthly summary (i thought i only got them monthly but i guess maybe ill get them all of the time).  this one kind of makes me sad though.
ive only lost 3.6 pounds in a month?  pfft.  but looky at my activity points. that is going up. (did you know that with WW you are only supposed to lose 0.5-2.0 lbs a month? so im right on target)
ok.  so check this one out.  i took a screen shot.  those are my weeks for the active link.  see the grey line? that is my goal per day.  see how im over it every week? and how it is slightly adjusting upwards? so i guess im doing well with that.  some days i find myself crying cause i dont WANT to workout.  but that is completely normal for me.
heck the other day i craved a workout cause i felt so umm, what is the word, angry? frustrated, probably frustrated with work.    and i just wanted to go and push myself until i felt a bit better.  lets hope we get more days of WANTING to workout vs pushing myself (fake it until you make it right?)
I have some NSV to report but first my breakdown of points
still have 30 points per day (not looking forward to when that drops), plus i eat all activity points and all weekly points.
Friday: 58
Saturday: 36
Sunday: 42
Monday: 32
Tuesday: 34
Wednesday: 30
Thursday: 32
total 264/ average 37.7
so NSV.  just for those couponers out there (yes i love saving money) i went to staples for work purposes and spent 33 bucks and got a $10 off $30 at kohls (i asked my bossman if i could have it, since it was indeed work's coupon) and he was like sure (he isnt a coupon lover like me).  so last night i opted to go and look around at kohls.  they are having some great back to school deals.  i dont go to school anymore (thankfully, i hated every minute of college, probably cause i worked full time and went to school on top of that).  they have their levi jeans on sale buy one get one half off, at least that was the sign over the ones i tried on.  i like levi 515 (i think i means boot cut and low rise but not too low) i tried on a pair of size 10 (short) jeans, not only did they zipper but they were wearable in public (im also on the tall end of short and the short in levi's fit me perfectly, i also think levi jeans are made for chicks without butts, like me).  i did not purchase them because for a split second back in 2007 i was a size 10.  so i have size 10 pants already, almost new.
i did purchase two long sleeve shirts, i know wrong season but i loved the way they looked.  those are both size large.  i also purchased two work shirts for my husband.  he hates shopping and i hate how ratty he is looking in his work shirts lately.  he actually wore the one that i wasnt sure if he would like today.
anyway this week should be a breeze when it comes to WW besides my friend who is having a BBQ at her house (i told her i would bring a box of turkey burgers and she was like cool).  that is saturday.  nothing really up coming.

Wednesday, August 7, 2013

OT work

This is what Kreacher thinks of my OT.
sorry the pic is dark.  he forced himself to lay in between my legs when i was leaning over to look at something on my husbands computer (kickstarter? some dice bag he wanted to purchase-aka nerd stuff).
i should let you know that kreacher and I spend about 45 mins after i get home from work cuddling (before my husband gets home).  i didnt leave work until 5:45 (my normal time is 4).
i also upset mr kreach when i had to get up to go to the gym.
his happiness is connected to how much human contact he gets all day long.  he loves us all equally (ok i should let you know he gets a little trot in his steps when he hears my step sons voice).
OT work shouldnt exist in my current job situation, its more like lack of planning.  whatever, if they want to pay me time and a half for doing my normal job, that is fine with me.
and im proud of myself for hitting the gym.
did i mention my husband got me a kindle fire HD?  i only allowed him to get it for me cause it was on sale ($159) i thought they were more like 300 bucks. i got a cute case for it too.  

Monday, August 5, 2013

is this worth the points?

this time around I am not attending weight watchers meetings, but i have in the past (for this time i felt unwelcomed by the other members of the group, can someone explain this to me?  first i know i look very young (i am 33 but look about early 20's) but i felt judged-so i opted for online.   i mean i love the leader of the class i attended, so its not WW themselves that i have an issue with).
but in the past they had you question things are they worth the points value before you eat something.
let me tell you, that question pops into my head all of the time.
so yesterday we were at my in laws house for my father in laws b day (it is today actually). we were having a BBQ, with cheese burgers, hot dogs, potato skins (made in the oven) and chips.  so im trying to be super aware of what i am eating. they do not know that im doing weight watchers.
so i ate a cheese burger, i looked at the package (and snuck a bar scan of the package when i put my dishes in the sink but that was after i had already eaten it) and got the serving size from there.  my father in law is always watching his sugar intake (he is in his 60s) so usually they will have some type of fruit sitting out, it was watermelon.  im a fruit lover but i think water melon tastes like metal.  so i cant eat it.  last time we were there they had strawberries and cantaloupe, which i ate the strawberries.
so im being careful with what im eating.  ice cream gets pulled out.  i end up with probably 0.5 cup of ice cream.  they kept trying to throw apple pie on my plate but i kept defending it.  im not a huge pie lover (ok so i make it sound like i hate everything, but i do love food).
i start inputting the food into my app while everyone was eating their pie, that was when i snuck away to get a scan of the barcode from the potato skins.  6 F-ing points.
i was so sad.  i showed my husband and made a sad face.  he doesnt get it (he does not diet).  in my mind it plays out that 2 more points and i could have had an ice cream sundae from DQ with caramel sauce (8 points for the small).
anyway i just took this screen shot (two of them cause i ate so much food you cant see it all in one screen).
see how much i ate yesterday? i didnt even remember the corn on the cob part.  i dont know if the 7 points for the burger is right.  oh and see my 3 point dinner?  i ate that at 8pm and i wasnt even hungry.  i just didnt want to wake up this morning super hungry.  29 point lunch by the way.  i only get 30 points per day.
i have to be careful for the rest of this week, i only have 3 weekly points remaining.  that isnt a lot when you have 4 days left until they reset.  i guess i better be earning some more activity points.  2 of those points are from yesterday and one is from friday night (walking around the fair earned me one point)
i did hit the gym last night after we got home.
i should also write about the fair, i went there friday night with my friends.  i ate a sweet sausage and pepper sandwich (oh so good and 12 points, but worth every one of those points).  they have a stand where they fry items.  every year it is something different (well every year they have chicken nuggets and fries).  last year it was fried brownies, which i tried and i wasnt impressed with.  this year it was fried mac and cheese, bananas foster and oreos (separate items).  so my friends order mac and cheese (2 orders), banana foster, and fried mint oreos.  im offered a bite of each but decline cause i seriously just ate my sandwich.  i would have tried the oreos if they werent mint (not a fan of mint in food form, toothpaste or gum fine).  I also got donuts (fried in lard!!) for my husband and didnt eat one.  instead i focused my energy on kicking butt at bingo.  i did sneak a piece of cotton candy though.
im always trying to regroup and unfocus on food.  even though im always thinking about food.
and just for fun.  i got these from sam's club (free weekend)
my jimmy deans delights!! 6 points each and worth every one of them.  i eat one for breakfast every day.  they have different kinds (like on a bagel or with Canadian bacon), ive never pointed those out before. so i cant tell you what they are.

Friday, August 2, 2013

weight watchers weigh in #7

Last week: 195.4 lb
this week: 194.4 lb
loss of 1.0

overall a good week. i did exceed my points target by 1.  but i blame hormones for that, i really wanted the mini tootsie rolls, so i opted for 1/2 a serving (2 points instead of 4).  it also turns out that if i earn an activity point on a thursday night it gets dropped into the current weeks not pushed to friday like i thought it would be.
i have also back tracked on the clicking of those buttons (for the healthy checks).  i am really good at actually doing them, its just remembering to go back and click.  as far as i know i cannot do them on my iphone (anyone know if i am just not in the right menu?).  i pretty much have access to an actual computer every day all day long, so really it is me just not doing it.

my point break down for the week
30 points per day, all activity points and all weekly points used (plus 1 extra this week)
Friday: 31
saturday: 33
sunday: 55
monday: 40
tuesday: 36
wednesday: 35
thursday: 34
total: 264
average per day 37.7

normally i have my big points day on friday, but i was sick last friday (some type of stomach bug) and i was finishing out a dietbet (weigh in was sunday). i posted pics from that a day or two ago.  by the way i won that dietbet and my extra earnings was 1.67.  LOL.  it was a tiny tiny diet bet (4 people).  for now on i only take part in large games ( i have two games running right now).

since i now just finished my second month i have a monthly progress report:
i think this time the activity points earned is correct.  last month it was like you have earned 4 zillion points.  yeah that wasnt true.  10 sounds right on target.
as for my activelink.  i didnt hit my goal wednesday night. i was at 99%.  I did attempt to do a level 2 of the 30 day shred and as i was doing some of the workout my head was pounding.  so i stopped it halfway through and just played walk it out for 20 minutes.  i think the rest of the days im right on target.  at the end of my 12 week challenge im supposed to be earning 1 point per day.  that shows you how much i actually move at work (i sit at a desk almost all day).

so overall my standings are this:
starting weight: 208.6
current weight: 194.4
difference: 14.2 lbs
percentage: 6.8%

i havent had anyone notice a weight loss difference (heck i cannot even tell myself other than my size 12 pants are super loose). i remember at the WW meetings they would say 10% people start noticing, and you start noticing health benefits at 10%.  im sure in september when i get my blood drawn for my endocrinologist we will see a difference.

have you guys ever seen any of those weight loss tv shows? like biggest loser or extreme weight loss. and you always see the person breaking down in front of the camera about how hard it is.  that was me yesterday.

anyway my period started last night, so i should start to feel somewhat normal soon.  i was walking around yesterday with a scowl on my face (i was actually doing an impression of my cat kreacher as he is pooping, he just gets this horrible face on and no i wont take a pic of him while he is doing his business)

my weekend plans got shifted.  we were supposed to go to an indoor water park with the in laws, but my sister in law has to work (she does education at the camden aquarium so she is needed when the groups are coming in), so my father in law post poned, but he still wants to have a BBQ.  This is to celebrate father in laws b day.  we are doing this on sunday since my step son lives in philly and philly is actually closer to NJ than it is to west chester, so we just end up meeting step sons mother on the philly side (funny thing is that we meet at a strip club called cheerleaders, that was until i told them it was a strip club, now we meet at the burger king next to it) and then head home.

Thursday, August 1, 2013


I try to keep a positive outlook on life (in general) but i tend to have issues with slight depression.  dont worry i wont be cutting my wrist or be overdosing on pills.  i deal with it. (i tried medication once, all it did was make me yawn like crazy, but the good thing was it killed my morning personality-i call her connie, connie is a bit of a jerk, she yells at my husband and the cats, meanwhile jaime remembers nothing) but i couldnt handle the yawning, so i stopped taking it (imagine that you yawn and not feel that little bit of relief, which causes more yawning).  even though my doc swore it was not a side effect, it was whatever depression drug starts with a Z (zoloft? i get drugs confused and this was back in 2006).  look it up on the internet, it says yawning.
so anyway right around the time i was trying the drug it was when my doc felt my thyroid and had me go for testing.  it took forever to get a diagnosis (my endos office is in high demand).  but i felt better after being on the medicine for a while.
anyway back to why im irritated.
i get to dietbet through my facebook (well log in through it).  so its linked to post whenever ive lost or gained weight.  cool whatever.  people like it.
my cousin writes that she loves me and hates me at the same time.  haha.  nice thanks.
i posted something back along the lines that losing weight is not easy and she just isnt around to hear me complain about what i want to eat vs what i do eat.
i dont want anyone to diminish my hardwork.  do they even know how many times i secretly cry in the inside cause i cant have peanut M&Ms. or how i bother my husband about going out for my large point lunch earlier than the place is open? and how my husband tells me im more food driven then my cat pepper-who is all about food?
trust me there are millions of things id rather do than level 2 of the 30 day shred, or go to the gym. or not eat the fair food.
i know the only reason im irritated is thanks to hormones.  hormones = jerkface
i also decided yesterday that i was going to start telling people that im barren when it comes to when are you having babies.  cause you know no one wants to hear about fertility issues.  and no i dont want to go through any more testings other than blood drawings.  and yes im losing weight to help the chances.