Thursday, August 1, 2013


I try to keep a positive outlook on life (in general) but i tend to have issues with slight depression.  dont worry i wont be cutting my wrist or be overdosing on pills.  i deal with it. (i tried medication once, all it did was make me yawn like crazy, but the good thing was it killed my morning personality-i call her connie, connie is a bit of a jerk, she yells at my husband and the cats, meanwhile jaime remembers nothing) but i couldnt handle the yawning, so i stopped taking it (imagine that you yawn and not feel that little bit of relief, which causes more yawning).  even though my doc swore it was not a side effect, it was whatever depression drug starts with a Z (zoloft? i get drugs confused and this was back in 2006).  look it up on the internet, it says yawning.
so anyway right around the time i was trying the drug it was when my doc felt my thyroid and had me go for testing.  it took forever to get a diagnosis (my endos office is in high demand).  but i felt better after being on the medicine for a while.
anyway back to why im irritated.
i get to dietbet through my facebook (well log in through it).  so its linked to post whenever ive lost or gained weight.  cool whatever.  people like it.
my cousin writes that she loves me and hates me at the same time.  haha.  nice thanks.
i posted something back along the lines that losing weight is not easy and she just isnt around to hear me complain about what i want to eat vs what i do eat.
i dont want anyone to diminish my hardwork.  do they even know how many times i secretly cry in the inside cause i cant have peanut M&Ms. or how i bother my husband about going out for my large point lunch earlier than the place is open? and how my husband tells me im more food driven then my cat pepper-who is all about food?
trust me there are millions of things id rather do than level 2 of the 30 day shred, or go to the gym. or not eat the fair food.
i know the only reason im irritated is thanks to hormones.  hormones = jerkface
i also decided yesterday that i was going to start telling people that im barren when it comes to when are you having babies.  cause you know no one wants to hear about fertility issues.  and no i dont want to go through any more testings other than blood drawings.  and yes im losing weight to help the chances.

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