failed

so after i wrote that entry last week i went off the deep end.  i guess for me that means eating everything in site and not working out. 
no official weigh in.  no offiicial measurements.  but phase 2 is going. 
im going to do it differently so i dont feel so umm....BUSY.  and um constricted.  (i am sure other people who have food issues feel the same way i do).
so im going to weigh in on mondays.  i was back on track saturday and sunday, i was feeling a bit sick so i didnt work out.  but monday morning i was 206.0 on the nose. 
im going to weigh in mondays for now on, and im going to report it even if it sucks.  oh phase 2 is called awesome summer and it runs from june 1 until September 1.  this is a challenge put down by a friend on another site.  feel free to join us. :)
my work out schedule is going to look like this, if i worked out yesterday and the day before i get a day off.  so like today, i worked out yesterday but i did not work out sunday, so i work out tonight. 
i should say that the entire month of june wasnt lost.  i have developed some muscles from 30 day shred.  I am going to shelf that DVD for now, i need a break from jillian.
last night i worked out at the gym for 500 calories (i originally told myself to just go for 30 minutes but then opted to finish my workout since i was already there).  i did their weight circuit. 
so what got me back on track is a big sad actually.  i had decided that i didnt care if i was 400 lbs, that i just want to eat.  then i went food shopping.  i went to grab some potato rolls for my husband, which is across from the freezer section.  there were two very obese people standing there, red in the face, huffing and puffing, they had just come from taking their blood pressure (at the pharmacy counter) i only know that part cause the person they were with asked how the readings went.  the walk from the pharmacy to the bread section is probably less than a minute.  but that walk has these people out of breathe and flushed. 
i dont want to be that person.
i do have a NSV for you guys.  my blood pressure was almost normal (top number was a bit high, i think it was 147/77) when i went to the endocrinologist on friday.  Also my labs have come back looking better (still need improvement).  my blood sugar was 101 (fasting) which is 1 point too high.  my other number (i think she said insulin) was 13, originally 22 about a year ago,  and 15 last time.  i talked to my endo about my lack of taking the metformin, (for those who dont know it causes me stomach issues-which leads me running to the  bathroom,  im on the extended release too) so we talked about me taking it at lunch time instead of dinner time (i dont like taking it then having to work out a few hours later and ending up with the tummy issues).  so now i have my pill bottle at work (some at home too) and im taking it with lunch.  i dont have diabetes but if i dont listen to the doc im going to end up with it.
doc is happy that im continuing on with the working out and counting my calories, she understands that it is super hard to keep up with the calorie counting, she actually suggested an app on my phone to count calories (i have my fitnesspal but i dont really use it, i like a handwritten journal). oh she wants me to keep track of my butt issues.  haha.  i was like how about i just star it and see if the metformin is interacting with something causing the issues. 
she eventually wants me taking 2 pills a day.  but i cannot see stomaching two of these pills.